"In a word? Moisture."

People often ask me, "What's the difference between couplehood and babyhood?" 

In a word? Moisture. 

Everything in my life is now more moist. Between your spittle, your diapers, your spit-up and drool, you got your baby food, your wipes, your formula, your leaky bottles, sweaty baby backs, and numerous other untraceable sources--all creating an ever-present moistness in my life, which heretofore was mainly dry. 

- Paul Reiser

After Thomas Jefferson, Mother Theresa, Haim Ginott, Erma Bombeck, and Missy Elliott (fo' shizzle), I think Paul Reiser speaks the most truth. (No, he isn't related to me.  Yes, I know my dad told you otherwise...) Today, I had an experience that supports his honest brilliance.

It was recess.  It was rainy.  There were 36 4th graders in one room.  And, it was the first rainy recess of the 2012-2013 school year.

As any teacher will agree, this is bad news horrid a recipe for disaster not a situation to be coveted.

We discussed expectations. Recess began and(YIPPEE!) the kids were doing a great job! They were drawing! They were talking quietly!  They were playing board games with the standard rules!  They were (gasp!) doing their homework IN ADVANCE!

With everyone safe and accounted for, I took the opportunity to look over my lesson plan for the reading mini lesson immediately following recess.  As I flipped through my plan book, my eye caught the image of my adorable Peanut.  I smiled like a teenager in love.

Admit it, you smiled when you looked at him too!

And then, my body betrayed me.

Nope.  Not like this entry...

My arm felt moist. 

Now, as any parent of an infant would admit, noticing moist spots on your body is a common event.  Did baby wet through his diaper?  Spit up?  Cry?  Unfortunately, Peanut was having a good time with his (incredible) caretaker, and could not be responsible for the wet spot on my forearm.  

I think my body knew before my brain because I spun to the wall and glanced down before really knowing what I was looking for.

There it was, a wet spot worthy of La Leche League's Top 10.

La Leche League Salute

I saluted tightly and hustled to the hallway watching for my co-teacher to return from her errand. I think the look on my face was panicked because as I pulled one arm from my body and showed her the evidence she waved her hand at me, telling me that she had everything under control while pointing at the office.  

Down the hallway I hustled.  While hurtling toward the office I saw glory hanging from a coat hook.  I stepped into our guidance counselor's office and said, "I need your help!"  

She quickly turned to me and I pulled away my arm while blurting, "Can I please borrow your white shrug?"

"Of course!" she responded while handing it to me.

Relief.

Lesson learned: Keep an extra top in the car because babies aren't the only ones who leak.